First of all, I want to apologize beforehand for the strong language I’m using. I swear I am not usually like this. I also apologize for rambling. I am just writing down my thoughts without structure or editing.
FUCK university. I can’t think of a bigger waste of my time, energy, effort, and my fuckin’ money. It’s emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially draining. I am in my 5th year cause I am not motivated to do well (I was supposed to graduate last year). I hate my program. I realize I chose it but deep down I never even wanted to come here.
My immigrant parents basically guilt tripped me into coming here, and my entire life I was taught that university was the ultimate goal and that a magic piece of expensive paper was going to magically fix my life and make my future great. Well, as I got older I just realized that it’s not the case, at least not for me. I’m not in science, engineering, business, or anything that might be useful/financially rewarding.
I’m going to graduate with a bidisciplinary degree in History and Political Science because those were the only two things I didn’t hate in school and the only way I could pass high school math was by cheating my way through it. University even managed to drain that from me. I just don’t fucking care anymore. I’m surrounded by dumbfucks with fixed views on everything.
They don’t even want to learn, they already assume they are right. I have friends who worked straight out of high school or went into trade and are already starting their lives. They’re paying rent, they’re getting food, they’re living, they’re even going out and doing shit that they want to do. So why did I waste 5 years of my life that I will never have back?
I know the counter argument is that that’s all they’ll be making/doing for the rest of their lives, but with a -let’s face it, useless degree, what else am I going to do? Am I actually socially/financially better off than they are? I highly doubt it.
You know what the fucked up part is? I don’t care about my finances. I just don’t give a fuck, as long as I am able to pay my living expenses. I don’t mind working in retail or being a barista 9-5 and then returning home. I could work on my music (what I actually care about), or play video games, or do nothing, or even jack off all day if I really wanted to, who gives a shit.
It’s my time. I don’t want to come home and then write a bullshit essay that the world doesn’t give a fuck about. Hell, I don’t give a fuck about it. I don’t want to write an essay that’s due in a week. I want to live in the now and today. I want to do what I want. I’m on the fence about having kids, and I’m leaning towards no because I just want to do what I want to do. I’m tired of what I want to do having to come second to something I really don’t give a fuck about. I realize you have to do that with work too, but again, I want to live in the now.
Say my music or my bands/endeavours aren’t successful. Maybe I’m not talented enough, or smart enough, or maybe I just don’t have the luck for it. At least I can be happy knowing I tried, and my life won’t be such a bore and I won’t be someone who lives his life full of regret.
Also read Why do I hate Sleeping at night
This is my last semester and it’s fortunately coming to an end. I hope my GPA is high enough to let me graduate because I just don’t have it in me anymore to go back again. My strategy is to write whatever I can and hope for the best. I’ve already been kicked out of my program, and to be honest, I don’t feel like fighting for another chance at mediocrity again. If I graduate, great, if I don’t, oh well. I’d rather drop out and have my family disappointed in me. I just physically, mentally, emotionally can’t care anymore.
Well, thanks for reading, internet strangers. I have to go work on an assignment.
Thanks for reading guys. I am so glad there are others who feel the same way. I was starting to feel alone on this for a long time. I have held this feeling in for years because I thought I was wrong to think this way, but I can’t help but feel how I feel, so I was like fuck it and wrote this rant.
Source : Reddit