I Hate Living in India
Living in India has made me avoid Indians and that’s the reason I Hate Living in India.
First of all, I’d like to say that I recognize no country is perfect and India is no different. But there is something especially fucked up in India that you don’t usually see in other parts of the world – unless you wander into ex-soviet bloc countries.
I’ve spent a significant portion of my life in India and my experiences so far add up to a very unflattering view of this culture. The central problem over here is that there is no in built feedback loop that stops people from being shitty. If you’re rich in India, which a lot of people I deal with are, then there are no negative consequences for being an asshole. If anyone in the continent behaved the way they talk to waiters over here, the way they behave with the middle class staff in their companies, and, yes, the way they deal with me, then they would be shunned. Even within the extremely unequal nouveau-America, things aren’t this bad.
What do I mean by that? I mean that I have seen Indians treat other Indian people, barely different from them as their property. In business, I have seen them conduct negotiations as if they were playing a domination game. I have seen them break personal boundaries, be abusive towards people, and in general lack any form of moral poise that is required within a civil society just because they can.
Must Read: Reasons I hate humans – Shocking truth
When these people are on ego trips and they are just whaling away at someone with less “power” than them, why don’t people stop them? I’ve never seen anyone actually stop them. It’s almost as if a combination of an ineffective courts system, a highly regimented society with almost zero social mobility, and a general lack of consequences has led to a society where everyone is willing to gut someone else to get what they perceive is theirs.
And it just keeps on getting better and better. The worst thing about dealing with most Indian people – there are exceptions as always – is that they are duplicitous to the extreme. They will tell you something, but then they’ll do something else. Then there is the general lack of respect for other people’s time, attention, and work. Actually let me reframe that, there is no respect for people ever. Whenever I’ve seen them enter into negotiations with artists, designers, developers, and other people who make their living on creativity – the Indian business establishment have this belief that they own the person. I’m not making this up, someone recently said to me, “finding vendors is not a challenge when you can find money.” That’s such a fucked up way to look at people you’re trying to collaborate with.
Then of course, there’s the fact that Indians don’t actually cough up money. It’s easier to get money out of fucking Tesco than it is from one of these people. They will nickel and dime you death. I have had so many clients who’ve owed me money and I have been paid every single time with delays included – except when I was working with Indians. When I’m working with Indians, the ratio is at best – 30%.
On top of all of this, lies the cherry of their faux-humility. The deference with which they treat their invisible hierarchies that are the cause of all of this pain. The way they write “dear sir” in emails, which is just mind boggling to me. I wouldn’t write to the President of the United States with a salutation like, “Dear Sir.” Mr. President maybe, but I sure as hell wouldn’t prostrate myself in front of the guy hoping to get something out of it. And yet that’s the default over here. People expect grovelling and they believe that you’re arrogant if you don’t do that…
Sure, I’ve made great friends over here, but just trying to co-exist with this “culture” has driven me to the point of insanity. It has made me avoid Indians.
Edit: So a few strong comments were made in the thread about my identification of religious persecution as one of the main reasons why anglo-Indians feel uncomfortable within India. Most people responded along the lines of:
I asked anglo Indian and you went Christian. Lol, ok. Is that the core definition of your identity?
I believe that people don’t understand why the church as a social institution is so important to us. In the mid-to-late 19th century, the then British govt. started passing anti-miscengenation laws which essentially made our existence illegal and led to rejection from both the Indians and the British, French, and the Portuguese. Our existence was ignored and as a people we had nowhere to go. The church accepted us at that time and it became one of the centrepieces of our culture.
Again I emphasise that if the church hadn’t accepted us, we wouldn’t exist as a community. Congregations therefore became the place where we gathered, the place where we networked, and the place where the community came together. Whatever your feelings may be about different faiths, but I feel that it’s important to understand this as the reason why it’s a part of the anglo-Indian identity.
and here’s one Anonymous answer from a man like me…
What are the reasons you would NOT like to live/settle in India?
I am an NRI, staying in the USA for the last 2 years. Married to the nicest wife in the world. We both are from India but we are dead against coming back. We had long talks about this recently as my wife is pregnant with our first child and we had to decide whether we wanted our family in India or here in the States. What we felt was that:
- I don’t want my child to learn that you can get away with anything if you have enough money.
- I don’t want him to learn that girls with boyfriends are sluts.
- I don’t want him to grow up in a land where he will see that a construction labourer’s children are not treated with as much respect as an MNC professional’s children.
- I don’t want him to be in the land where fake godmen accuse a rape victim to be the cause of rape.
- I don’t want my daughter to feel scared while going out in the evening. I don’t want people ogling at my daughter because she wears what she feels is comfortable.
- I want to live in a land where justice is given to you regardless of your financial standing.
- I want to live in a land where students are not given admissions into universities by the score of some 3Hr. test or management quota but by the virtue of my son’s or daughter’s own hard work.
- I want my daughter to be able to have male friends and boyfriends and find a guy she loves rather than getting her pushed into marriage with a guy whom my extended family has approved of by looking at some sort of horoscope.
- I want my kids to have the facilities that I didn’t get. That is why I shall be a citizen of America rather than India where hard work, honesty and forthcomingness is rewarded and not punished like it is in India.
This is my opinion. I don’t want to hurt any sentiments. I was born and brought up in India and I love India for what it is. It is just that I prefer thinking logically rather than emotionally.
Ironically, I came across this beautiful reply from Ankit Yadav on Why I hate living in India
I do not have anything against the country in general but I always get upset at the mentality of the people living here.
First of all why are everyone is always following the herd. Stop being sheeps you idiots ! And then they expect us to stand out in the crowd while being in a herd. How is that even possible ?
It is always taught from the childhood that you have to shut up if you try to talk in front of elders or say something they don’t like. Why ? We are kids, not mature news watching robots like you that we will follow whatever you teach us. We have to ask why ? Why is it so ? Why do you do that ? Why not ? Why yes ? But out of the frustration they suffer in their life they just shut us up! You are an idiot ! That is what they tell you if you do not it their way.
It’s my way or a tight slap on your cheek ! — Every Indian teacher/parent/preacher/whoever else.
The result is that in order to avoid that tight slap we tend to fall in line, whatever that line is and fall prey to the crowd mentality structure that India so openly supports.
I myself am a victim of this mentality. Never in my life thought that I would be on such a way and would have to decide to go against my parents. But now I feel that every decision they took for me was a bad one(academic wise). And now when I try to tell them why they just do not listen to me at all. They expect an apology from me for getting out if the line and talking back to them. Wow! You go and ruin my life and I can’t even say what is in my heart. Thank you so much!
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